March 24th, 2011

In an effort to not take pictures at 8 pm of things I find around my house, I took one at work, of something I pass by every day.

These pamphlets lay on a table in the common area at work. I snatched them all and ran, pamphlets clutched to my chest, back into my office. You know, so no one would see me doing anything weird, like taking pictures of them.

I put these how-to books in order of humor level. But, to start, I think they are all funny because they appear to be drawn by an eight year old.

Ok, so the first one, "Using Chemical Labels Safely," and the second, "Protection from Bloodborn Pathogens," are funny because they seem to suggest that I work in an office that simultaneously works with a lot of blood, but also a lot of chemicals. Basically it looks like we're making an army of human-clone cyborgs or something like that. I mean, I'm no scientist, but robots run on blood, right?

The "First Aid" pamphlet is funny because it appears that a 74 year old construction worker has fallen over drunk and everyone is upset. Personally, I'm happy that he thought to put his hard hat on before drinking. I think that should be a new law, it would prevent a lot of drunken construction accidents.

"Hazard Communication" is humorous because the woman is holding up a can of gasoline and that man appears to be giving her a talking to and using his instruction sheet as a visual aid. I assume he's telling her to keep it away from fire and/or gremlins. I always forget the rules of the gremlins.

The "Fire Safety" pamphlet is funny because it denotes that a worker at our office would try to put out a fire himself, rather than wait for the fire department. It also looks like that fire is engulfing the building, so the pamphlet is actually encouraging us to be volunteer fire fighters. I don't know about my co-workers, but if we're engulfed in flames I'm getting outside for a better view while that mother burns to the ground.

The "Lifting and Carrying" one is funny because it suggests that I would ever lift or carry anything in the office. That will never happen. You'd be hard-pressed to get me to carry a pack of paper far enough to get it in the copier.