December 31st, 2011

Last post of the year is a picture of me.

Here's me, drinking champagne out of a wine glass, alone at midnight.

My husband is sleeping because he's working 15/16 hour shifts right now. I did wake him up to kiss him at midnight, though, because that's how the year should start.

I'd love to impart some wisdom about 2011, but mostly is was a very up and down year. I learned some patience, some cooking skills, and a whole lot more about marriage - at least my marriage.

2011 was a crazy year, after moving across the country, I moved across an ocean. I'm learning how to live as an adult, and it's not that easy. I'm learning how to live away from my family and friends, and that's not easy. I'm learning how to share space with another human being, and that is just not easy at all, my friends.

But, I'll leave you with this for this year, mistakes are mistakes, and regrets exist no matter how many people tell you to regret nothing. I think it's ok to have regrets. Sure, everything you've done or haven't done has led you to where you are, but there are some things that lead you to a dark alley and it's up to you to find a safe neighborhood out of there. I think regrets are just mistakes you learn from. If you can look back on that one stupid thing you did and see its domino effect, chances are you won't make that mistake again. So, regret all you want, just don't let the regrets pile up and fester at your doorstep, 'cause ain't no one cleaning up that mess but you.

I can't say if 2011 is a banner year, I'll need a few more years to determine that, but a lot changed this year for me. I guess it's good to have a life that's not stagnant, but sometimes, looking on the other side of the fence, a predictable life seems preferable.

But, for now I'll just deal with the life I've been given, and be grateful for where it takes me.

This is yours truly, ending this Project 365, and looking forward to next year. I hope all of your 2012's are amazing.

December 28th - 30th, 2011

Second to last post, y'all. Not too sure I'm going to continue this blog next year, so get it while it lasts.

Anyway, the 28th is just cute.

We use the diet coke pillow to calm Bootstrap down. It's basically the only thing we can think of besides tying him to the bed like a mental patient. It worked in this instance, and he and Daniel enjoyed some snuggle time.

The 29th is a two-fer, guys.

Christmas tree graveyard, y'all. It was kinda depressing getting rid of the tree, but honestly chasing Bootstrap away from it every day is more stress than I need right now. Plus, once I start thinking something needs to get out of my house, I kinda have to get it out of my house. I start twitching, it's weird. Anyway, now Reptar is full of pine needles.

Part two is an awesome present!

The Korbels got us this awesome friggin' oil lamp. I love it. We need more decorative shiz for this house.

Finally, the 30th we got our first snow.

I didn't take any pictures of picturesque, snow-covered Germany. But, this is the view of the roof at the hotel. Having a glass ceiling makes me feel like I'm in Hogwarts sometimes, except when glops of snow gather like this.

If you didn't get that reference you should go buy some Harry Potter books, pronto.

December 26th - 27th, 2011

It's a Bootstrap-themed post, but aren't they all?

On the 26th he got into one of his... situations.

I seriously do not understand this at all. Apparently I didn't close the cabinet all the way, so to Bootstrap that means it's time to balance on the door to try to get at the plastic bags we keep in there - 'cause plastic bags are his favorite thing to play in. I do not know why he didn't just jump on the floor to get in there, but I guess if he did that he wouldn't be Bootstrap.

My cat's a friggin' freak.

Yesterday we had to take him on a little trip.

Our favorite pirate needed some shots. He jumped around the table like a freak the whole time, and made evil sounds when he got microchipped. I think a human pirate would probably do the same thing.

December 23rd - 25th, 2011

It's the Christmas edition! And you know what that means (not really), a bonus picture!

On the 23rd Daniel and I hauled our lazy asses to the Christmas market in town.

It was awesome. It smelled amazing from all the food carts and it was very Christmasey. Plus, we got everyone's gifts in one day. They're all wrapped and sitting in a plastic bag awaiting shipment. I'd feel bad about them being late, but I've gotten so bad at getting gifts to people that they're seriously lucky they're getting sent at all.

On Christmas Eve our tree was (almost) complete with presents under it.

We still don't have a tree topper. Eh, can't have everything.

Now, part one of Christmas! I am getting better at this whole cooking thing.

Friggin' delicious turkey. Oh my God. To be fair, Daniel helped baste it. So, basically we're awesome.

Part deux!

Traditional end to Christmas dinner: Bailey's. I got my husband - who rarely drinks - to have a glass with me. And he was totally done before me, go figure.

December 15th - 22nd, 2011

Well, 2011 is drawing to a close. So, it makes sense that I would slack on 365 postings, right? That's my excuse. The end of the year makes you busy, sort of.

On the 15th, Bootstrap was lazy.

He likes to sit on my lap, like that. I didn't put him that way at all. AT ALL.

On the 16th, Daniel glared at me.

Turns out he's not terribly fond of me exposing him as the crazy cat lady he is. Go figure.

On the 17th, both my animals were weirdos.

They were for real playing in there. I have no idea why. My pets are freaks.

Again, the 18th was full of freaks.

It's a blurry/crappy picture, but you get the idea, they were play-fighting.

Shit, I took a lot of animal pictures this week. Here's Bootstrap, again, on the 19th.

Yeah, he's drinking tree water. At least he's not eating off dirty plates. Oy.

Finally! A break from the pets! On the 20th I tried to earn my domesticity badge.

I made lasagna! It was pretty good, and provided lunch for my husband for a few days. Cooking for two people is tricky shiz.

I know you were missing him, so here's Bootstrap on the 21st.

We were playing fetch. He thinks he's a dog. He would bring me his rat toy after every time I threw it for him. I guess this is what happens when a kitten grows up with a freak dog.

And finally, the 22nd is something freaky.

My burns have faded into what looks like leopard spots. I'm fashionable now, guys.

December 11th - 14th, 2011

Christmas is in eleven days and I have purchased...Zero presents. So. Of course, we will start with a Christmas picture.

December 11th, 2011.

Behold, our gingerbread house - the only house in our Christmas village, population: 2 bakers.

On the 12th we got the tree done.

In the process of lighting this thing, with net lights because that's all the PX had, it fell on me three times. I literally lay underneath it, in a puddle of water from the tree stand tipping over, trying to maneuver the tree trunk so it would stay upright. The end result is we pushed it against the wall and don't touch it anymore, in hopes it will stay vertical until we throw the thing out.

I'm never getting a real tree again.

The thirteenth is more of Bootstrap being a freak.

While I was scavenging for food he hopped in. Rather than remove him right away I decided to take pictures, 'cause that's what I do.

Finally, today.

I'm sick! The doctor diagnosed me with: bronchial pneumonia, sinusitis, and laryngitis. I have my husband to thank for my range of infections, and as a bonus I got to take home half the pharmacy to treat it. Hooray germs!

December 4th - 10th, 2011

Twenty-one days left of 2011. We'll see if I can keep up with this blog business past the new year. Either way, pictures, that's why we're here, right?

Hokay, so, here is December 4th.

This looks posed and fake, but it totally isn't. My husband and my cat are like a couple, and although I'm biased, I do believe this picture is super freakin' cute.

On December 5th I took a rare picture of the dog beast.

This is what he does when I pet him. He tries to be all cute - then he pees on the floor. Douchebag.

On the 6th, we found a way to keep Bootstrap from biting the shit out of us.

Shove the diet coke pillow at him. For some reason he cannot resist attacking said pillow when you shove it on his face. Also, his razor sharp teeth do not tear holes in the weird fabric. It's basically a win-win. I will have much fewer scars because of my diet coke pillow.

On the 7th I displayed my Christmas gift from my sister, Maggie.

Basically it's awesome and hilarious. And yes, I'm drinking yellowtail wine - because I'm classy as shit.

On the 8th, I took an embarrassing but endearing picture.

Just watchin' TV. Ok, avert your eyes from my sincerity. It makes me blush.

On the 9th there was a different kind of snuggling.

Between a man and his cat. It looks like Bootstrap is saying something, probably "I love you, Daniel."

Finally, today. Today!

This picture signifies so many things. 1) We finally have shelves!! Aren't you so excited that we don't have to stack our DVD's on the floor?! 2) We went to Ikea so, 3) We finally have a GPS with German maps and 4) We actually went out and did something!!

We ended the day with good Chinese food and I basically stopped hating Germany so much. It's amazing how some financial freedom will allow you to enjoy life more.

November 29th - December 3rd, 2011

Keeping the pace, I'm keeping the pace. Anyway.

On November 29th I figured I'd document that we do indeed have another pet.

I realize I take a lot of pictures of Bootstrap and his various hijinks. However, Barnacle still exists, he just doesn't get into as many scrapes. He is now over a year old and we are enjoying his largely uneventful adult years.

On the 30th I found something marvelous.

Refrigerator magnets. It's something you gain as you get older, however we have been functioning (I have no idea how) on one refrigerator magnet. We had a celebration that we graduated to two magnets when the health clinic bestowed another upon us.

I search every store I go to for more magnets to no avail, because somehow it becomes necessary to post things on the fridge as you get older. So, you can imagine my jubilation when I stumbled across an entire PACK of refrigerator magnets.

On the 1st we got the best spam mail, ever.

We will be there, Boy Scout of America. We will be there.

The 2nd is just more of Bootstap being a pig.

Bootstrap doesn't get allowed into the kitchen until after dinner has been thoroughly cleaned up. But, he always tries to find leftover food somewhere, because he's a fat fat fatty.

Finally, today, the day of all days.

Daniel turned 29.

We had a low-key affair, but I still made him blow out his Birthday candles and watch a zombie video.

We have strange rituals.

Anyway, I'm very glad for this birthday because I love my husband very much. /naked-truth

November 24th - 28th, 2011

Rollin' on with German life, y'all.

Thanksgiving is basically a preamble to leftovers for my husband.

The only problem is that now Daniel is sick - has a fever and everything. So he hasn't really eaten a whole bunch, so it'll be left to rot 'cause I rarely eat leftovers. However, my scissorwife sent me a leftover turkey recipe, so some of it might get eaten yet.

On the 25th I got a rare surprise.

Daniel brought me home roses as a belated 1st anniversary present. It was a very nice surprise. He gave them to me whilst I was lolling on the couch in old sweats looking super sexy, so it was really romantic.

On the 26th Bootstrap was snuggly and fat.

When he's not biting and scratching me he can sometimes be cute. Sometimes.

On the 27th I had a visit from two beggars.

I was eating cheese and these assholes did this almost the entire time. It's cute, but seriously annoying.

Today I got an awesome package.

My aunt and uncle sent Daniel and I a box of cookies, chocolates, and chocolate pretzels. They are awesome.

Also, I do not plan on sharing the chocolate pretzels.

November 17th - 23rd, 2011

To preface this, I skipped a day. I blame Twilight infused haze. I missed the day the new Twilight came out 'cause I was seeing it in the theater. Think of me what you will.

Anyway, on November 17th my wife and I went to Target.

She was glaring at another customer like that, then she turned her wrath on me, it might've been because I was trying to take her sweet headband.

November 18th was Twilight craziness ie Beatles craziness. Except with more vampires.

On November 19th my friends and I went to Marshall Fields - not Macy's, 'cause Macy's is for devil worshipers - to go see their big tree.

It was an excellent day, certainly one of the best of the trip. We laughed and gossiped and bitched and ate Frango mints, and for good measure we took odd pictures in front of the (shitty) windows that made parents uncomfortable - I could swear I saw a few shooing their children away from the freaks mimicking the puppets. I miss my friends a lot, and I wish we didn't live in Germany.

On the 20th I had my first Thanksgiving of the season.

Two of my sisters were also in town, so we celebrated with turkey and football. I'm not big on football, but drinking wine and hanging out with family I don't get to see often is good for me. Plus, the dinner was delicious.

I took the picture of the day on the plane, and technically it was the sunrise, but I was still on Chicago time, so it counts.

The little sliver is the moon, and you can see the wing of the plane. On every single flight of this trip I was on the wing of the plane, and on the same side - and I took 4 planes this trip. It was odd and coincidental. But, I don't feel like it was a real coincidence, cause I'm a crazy hippy. But I do not know what it means.

On the 22nd I hung up a lone Christmas decoration I bought in Chicago.

A snoopy gel cling! I hung it in the kitchen window because our decorations feel very concentrated. Also - I was very sleep deprived.

Today, Bootstrap demonstrated his new favorite toy.

The sponge. He carries it around in his mouth - like so. He's a freak of the week. Daniel has to hide the sponge in the dishwasher so he doesn't get it. Needless to say that sponge has been cleaned Many times.

November 7th - 16th, 2011

Part one of my Chicago visit is going to be fairly brief and picture filled. And if you sniff this blog enough, you might smell Portillo's cheese fries.

Day one comes to you from a Scandinavian fighter jet. Or a commercial plane - by this time I was so looped on food deprivation/sleep deprivation that it could've been either.

I dislike coke light so much I drank it twice.

Mostly there was nothing else available, and you know how refreshing these tiny shots of pop were? Not really refreshing at all.

The 8th was filled with lots of stuff, but the end result is Christmas decorations:

My mom got me a fewChristmas themed gifts - an early Christmas present so I can enjoy them sooner. I think this one is my faaavorite.

On the 9th my dad and I saw a movie and were basically awesome.

So here we are, being awesome.

On the 10th I became a book thief.

I took my grandma's copy of this Stephanie Plum book. I'll return it...someday.

On the 11th I did an at-home pedicure that turned out not looking like total crap, so here it is.

This picture is not to imply that I didn't get nail polish all over my toes before artfully removing the excess with nail polish remover and a q-tip.

The 12th Colleen got Catholic married!!

Now she is officially church married, so we celebrated like mad fools, yo!

On the 13th, my hair got some much needed care.

I waited nine months between haircuts cause I don't trust the Germans to cut my hair. I only trust Erin, my cousin. Freal.

On the way to pick up my scissor wife on the 14th, I saw this sign.

It was a sign from the scissor god!!

On the 15th I took a picture of a cool Christmas plant I wish I could sneak back to Germany.

It's awesome, dude.

Finally, the 16th I saw Skittle...

She somehow looks completely relaxed and also evil. That's a skill.