March 19th, 2011

Upon leaving the Walmart, purchases in hand, I came across a strange finding in the parking spot next to my car.

This spot was empty when I went into the store. When I came out, something else was parked there: a dirty diaper.

I don't really understand the practice of throwing garbage out of your car window. Perhaps that's why the backseat of my car can look somewhat like a garbage can until I get to a gas station. But, for something like this, I would hope I would have the fortitude to find an actual garbage can before I need to fill up my car.

I know there are laws about picking up after your dog when you walk them. You can't just leave feces wherever you want to. Shouldn't the same laws apply to your baby's poop? Do we need signs up that say: "Please clean up after your baby"? In my head these signs would also have silhouette people holding a baby out who is clearly taking a dump.

I didn't clean up the diaper. Who knows what baby diseases were crawling on that thing. But, I did get the mad desire to run over it - I sometimes am surprised by my weirdo 12 year old sensibility. But, then the 25 year old sensibility popped up, and said it would be a little ridiculous to back up my car and perfectly angle it to run over a dirty diaper. Plus, then I would have shit on my car.

So, I drove off, leaving the dirty diaper behind. But, I was definitely laughing at the idea of it exploded on the pavement because I deliberately ran it over with my car.