April 27th - 28th, 2011

German gummy bears are much better than American gummy bears. (April 27th)

First off, look at the detailing on them - they have faces and everything. Second, they're friggin' delicious. They also stay soft longer (that's what she said), I don't know how they do it, but it's awesome.

Today I took everything out of my suitcases (finally). I put all my non-framed pictures on my one refrigerator magnet. (April 28th)

The sad thing is, I have about a million pictures and I print very, very few. Putting all of them in photo albums is a goal of mine. However, it also seems like a mammoth undertaking that overwhelms me. But, seeing as I'm currently unemployed - perhaps I should think about actually making photo albums rather than sitting around all day re-reading my Twilight books.

Yeah, I know it's sad.

April 25th - 26th, 2011

Barnacle has picked up an interesting new habit. (April 25th)

He likes to stand like a human and look out the window.

This picture almost creeps me out. He really does look like a person. I also took this picture to emphasize how big Barnacle is now, and he's only five months old. Yikes.

Now, onto my injury of the day. (April 26th)

I smashed my foot under our apartment door while trying to take the kraken out. As you can see, my right second toe is scraped and bruised. I'm actually pretty sure it's a bone bruise because it hurts like hell.

Basically, I opened the door ON my foot. So, it smashed it, and trapped it underneath at the same time. So, I got bonus injuries - there's a layer of skin ripped off my toe, and also a bruise. Also, my toe is definitely swollen.

But, I do have a hot limp now - so it all works out.

April 23rd - April 24th, 2011

In keeping with my resolution to take pictures outside of my apartment walls, on Saturday we ventured into town and I remembered to pull out my camera. (April 23rd)

This is the view up one of the roads, with a church in the background. The whole town pretty much looks like this - in other words it's a very pretty town.

Daniel and I walked around for awhile, and I noticed that almost everywhere sells beer: cafes, ice cream shops, libraries. Ok, well I didn't see any libraries but I'm sure they sell beer there, too. That being said, I didn't drink any beer. I did, however, drink some wine with lunch, because that's how us (pseudo) Europeans roll.

Today, Easter, was more laid back. Basically all we did to celebrate was eat cinnamon rolls (which I baked from a can) and watch Modern Family. It was a lazy day, so I forgot to take a picture until maybe twenty minutes ago when I happened upon a funny household scene. (April 24th)

My husband is going into the field for five days (starting tomorrow - don't even get me started on how irritating it is that right when I get here he gets called away) and he was taking his bag to his car. So, I insisted he take the kraken out to pee. When I looked at the pair of them, it seriously looks like Ski is taking Barnacle to war with him.

Or, it might look like an over-sized kid running away with his dog. I hope they packed enough saltines to last them through the night.

April 22nd, 2011

The tiny base where my husband and I are currently stationed has rather picturesque surroundings.

I didn't do the best job at capturing the view, but I was also taking the picture by sticking the camera out of a moving car and pressing the silver button - while Germans stared at me strangely from the side of the road, probably ascertaining that I was either a) American or b) Insane, or c) both. (It's both)

Anyway, I used the best picture I got.

Rest assured I will take more (and better) pictures of Germany as I go. But, hey, at least it's not another picture of my dog. Who is currently switch-hitting between chewing two different bones.

I know you were vastly interested.

April 20th-21st, 2011

My new apartment is maybe twice the size of my old apartment. (April 20th)

This is my living room/dining room. It basically fits two of my old living/dining rooms. You know what more space means? More opportunities for rave parties.

I made a concerted effort to take a picture while I was out today. (April 21st)

So, I took a picture of this bunny basket bush that we've passed a couple times. I tell ya what, this is too super cute. I definitely never passed anything like this in Leesville. I did, however, pass a lot of strip clubs.

So, so far the tally for strip clubs goes to Louisiana, and the tally for cute Easter decorations goes to Germany. I think I'm likin' Germany's trend better.

April 18th - 19th, 2011

In my infinite wisdom, I knew I would probably forget to take a picture of the airports/planes/airport bars I visited. Well, really I didn't visit any airport bars, but I was tempted to in my frazzled, stressed out state. So, in the morning, before Germany-Gate 2011, I took this picture. (April 18th)

During my stay in New Orleans I just happened to get a[nother] tattoo. I'm incorigible. But, I've been really wanting one, so...I do what I want. In case you can't tell - it's a star gazer lily (my favorite flower), which I added to my arm tattoo.

For my first picture in Germany, I actually took a picture of something Polish. (April 19th)

You'll have to excuse me - but, getting to see my husband was the most exciting part about coming to Germany. Hopefully the coming pictures will be of German things, but don't get too excited. I can't drive yet and I don't have my car so I'm pretty much stuck in an apartment all day.

Hopefully this weekend I will be able to take a picture of schnitzel or something.

April 15th - 17th, 2011

Well, this could be one of the last blogs written from the states for this year, it'll probably be too difficult to update tomorrow, as I will be shipping a car and then hauling off to Germany. That being said, I guess it's ok it's a three-for-one.

Ok, so I forgot to take a picture until I was about to go to bed, so this is what you get. (April 15th)

Barnacle took the opportunity of the empty apartment to drag his bed all over the place. That's all I got. Try taking an exciting picture when you spent all day dealing with movers, selling a car, and cleaning out an apartment.

After getting out of the apartment - the next day - I wound up in New Orleans, Louisiana. Well, the outskirts.

I did venture into the outlying areas of New Orleans, not Bourbon Street - not on Saturday anyway. But, I liked how this picture turned out. So, it's my picture of the day.

I drove through New Orleans Sunday. Well, I drove through Bourbon Street. Mostly, it gave me an anxiety attack. It was wall to wall people and bars, and driving down the street made me nervous and claustrophobic. So, I did not stop or get out of the car to take a picture. Once i got more into the outskirts I was happier. I like the southern/victorian architecture everywhere, and I thought this was really cool... (April 17th)

Driving down the street, there were beads hanging from the trees, electrical wires, and street signs. Some of the best beads were on this street - Napoleon Street. I was much more interested in this street than Bourbon Street. There weren't any bars, the street was actually four lanes and not half a lane, and it wasn't crawling with people.

I think I may be the only person who would go back to New Orleans and stay away from Bourbon Street.

April 14th, 2011

My house is very echoey at the moment.

The movers took almost all of our stuff - well all the big stuff anyway. So, I decided it's a good enough opportunity to play fetch with Barnacle since he has more room to run around.

I'm currently sitting on the air mattress I had to buy in order to sleep here until Saturday. My butt is cold, because it's touching the ground, but it's better than sitting on the floor. I'm pretty much completely exhausted from how much stress my day has had. I had clashing appointments to stress over. I had to take the kraken to the vet. I got no sleep last night. I'm more or less a zombie right now. However, the big moving day is done, tomorrow is little moving stuff, plus probably selling a car.

You can count on me sleeping in on Saturday and Sunday. Bet your bottom dollar. I don't even know what a bottom dollar is, maybe it's the dollar you keep at the bottom of your sock drawer. Or in your shoe. Or your butt.

Bet your butt dollar.

April 12th-13th, 2011

I went to bed at 9 pm last night, so I'm a little late. I'm going to be incredibly stressed out until...Tuesday. So, don't depend on daily updates, though I will try.

Anyway, yesterday (April 12th) I achieved max-fat-potential.

Meaning, I filled an entire jar with fat from top to bottom. I didn't want to start a new jar of fat (as shown behind the full jar) because I'm leaving. But, I had no choice, I had to have a tiny jar of fat, that looks even tinier compared to the full glob in the other jar.

Today (April 13th) was a mixed emotion type day. Still is, really.

I had my last day of work. I was sadder to leave than I thought I would be. Turns out I actually really like my job. Well, I like the people I work with, and if I weren't moving, I definitely wouldn't be quitting. Now my ID holders are sad and empty.

On the other hand, I came home to a package from my adopted sister-in-law. Inside were these amazing bunny cookies that she got from my favorite bakery back home.

I am currently enjoying the pink bunny, it's a nice distraction from my stressed out/manic state.

April 11th, 2011

I don't like getting shots. You know what I don't like more?

Scooby Doo. So, this bandaid is literally adding insult to injury.

This might make me unpopular, but I find Scooby Doo to be pretty much the most annoying children's show, ever. I used to babysit a kid who loved it, and it made me want to rip my ears off. All of the voices are completely shrill and annoying, and I can't tell if the show is supposed to be scary, because mostly it just seems stupid.

They're also the worst supernatural team, ever. They are always leaving men behind and being trapped by ridiculous ghosts. Who gets trapped by a non-material spirit? Idiots, that's who.

Needless to say, I was a little annoyed that the nurse who gave me my tetanus shot this morning covered the gaping hole the needle created with a Scooby Doo bandaid. She was like, "Oh sorry, I only have the kid bandaids." I wanted to respond with, "Those bandaids are an insult to children everywhere." But, I didn't. I just laughed and removed the bandaid as soon as I could - which was covered in my blood.

Scooby Doo is a life ruiner. Life. Ruiner.

April 10th, 2011

Today I did something quite liberating.

I shredded two years of my life.

I've been collecting papers that I don't feel comfortable with just recycling for a long time. I collected these papers in a Disney Princess bag, because that's what adults do. Mostly they're bills and bank statements - evidence of my student loans and such. For whatever reason I never bought a shredder and somehow never encountered one to borrow, but I was always too nervous to just recycle all this paper with my information on it. I even lugged the Disney Princess bag full of bills to Louisiana with me. To say this bag was a monkey on my back is somewhat of an understatement.

I decided recently that I would not be bringing my princess bag to Germany. I wasn't about to pack that monkey. So, I bought a $30 shredder from Walmart about three weeks ago (as you might remember), and it took me until today, about a week before leaving for Germany, to finally shred everything.

I clogged the shredder three times, and I was pretty sure I broke it for good the last time. But, I unclogged it with a butterknife and tweezers because I one, have ingenuity, and two, am very safe. Anyway, I ended up with one and a half garbage bags full of shredded paper which are now gone from my life.

Goodbye Princess bag of stress. I'm sorry to say I won't miss you.

April 9th, 2011

I forgot to take a picture until it was dark out. So, I ended up with a picture of something gross.

These beetles are everywhere at night. I dread having to take Barnacle out at night because there are usually at least five buzzing around the door.

As you may or may not be able to see - it's upside down. Not only are these beetles gross, they're also clumsy, it takes them forever to flip themselves back over. So, when I go outside, I hear endless buzzing of these beetles trying to right themselves.

To make matters worse, Barnacle is incredibly interested in the beetles, he's always trying to sniff/eat them. I can't let him because I think the sound of the crunch as he ate them would make me throw up.

April 8th, 2011

On a day of rising stress that includes not only all of the things I have to do to move to Germany, but also the government slashing my husband's pay right as I'm leaving my job, I thought I'd take a picture of something beautiful.

I looked out of my window at work and this rose was bobbing up and down in the wind. I went outside to see a rosebush practically growing out of the side of the building I work in, and there was one lone bloom on it. It just seemed hopeful to me, that amidst the chaos and stress that so many people are dealing with right now you can find a rose blooming out of concrete.

I realize it's very hippyish and I may be grasping at straws for things to make me feel better by finding hope in a flower. But, sometimes in life you have to do that.

Sometimes you have to see the rose blooming out of the bullshit, or else you're just swimming in shit.

April 7th, 2011

Barnacle is a boy dog...sorta.

He got neutered today.

The first thing the lady at the vet office said was, "Oh you can't even tell he got neutered, he's crazy." This, of course, was immediately embarrassing. I wanted to know what antics he got up to, how much he terrorized the vet's office. But, I also didn't want to know.

I also felt vindicated. It proves that I'm not lying about how insane my dog is, that it's not crazy to be super stressed by him.

The sad part is, I could tell he was drugged. He jumped on me when he saw me, but it wasn't with as much energy as usual. He was slower, he didn't pull as much. I wish he was always like that.

Right now he's in his cage because if I let him stay out he tries to play, and I'm worried he'll rip his stitches. I'm not going to lie, it's kind of nice to have him confined and there be a legitimate reason for it besides "this dog is making me crazy."

I don't know how long his insane amount of energy will last, but it's got to end sometime...right?

April 6th, 2011

Smooth move, Barnacle.

My dog is ripping apart his favorite toy - his pillow. Yes, that's stuffing coming out of it.

Rather than let him coat my house in tiny pieces of stuffing, I took the pillow away. I was going to just throw it out, which is when I took this picture, but then he got really annoying without it, trying to play with my hands as I organized my DVDs.

So, I got an old sheet and made a makeshift pillow case for the inside pillow. I put the contraption back into the regular case, and now Barnacle is trying his hardest to rip that apart, too.

The good news is, if I flip the pillow over to the side without the hole it takes him a long time to figure out how to flip it back over.

April 5th, 2011

Let me explain my stress via visual aids.

This is all the crap I got for moving to Germany. I'm expected to read all of it and know how to do anything in there required of me.

To start - I'm not going to read...almost any of it. But, I feel like I'm supposed to - so I have that school guilt sitting on my shoulders again. Plus, this mammoth stack of unreadable papers makes me feel like I have one million things to do before I leave the country. So, because of all this stress, I made a sizable journey to the dumpster today to get rid of anything I deemed extraneous. I still have the daunting task of going through my fridge, freezer, and pantry. But, I'm putting that off for as long as possible.

I also made my shred pile larger and am now afraid that the machine will die before I even get a chance to enjoy it.

The good news is that I can now see my kitchen table. Sort of.

April 4th, 2011

I left the kraken at a kennel while I went to my sister's house.

So I took a lack-luster picture of his glorious homecoming.

Really, I just wanted to document that the teeny-tiny puppy we brought home is now getting hugemongous. I realized I didn't have any pictures of him standing to show how tall he is. So there he is - not even full grown and almost as tall as the couch cushions. Since we don't know what he's mixed with it's hard to guess at how big he will get. But, from everything I've read they're full grown by one year. So, seven more months of growing.

Holy crap, he's going to be a monster.

April 1st - 3rd, 2011

My weekend was spent seeing my sister and nephews, because they are awesome and I'm really going to miss them while I'm in Germany.

(April 1st) My plot begins with giving my nephews dinosaur toys.

Next, I find a Jeff Goldblum action figure. Then, we will recreate Jurassic Park scenes any time I babysit. That is, until they are old enough to watch the movie with me and will then fully understand the magnificence of the Goldblum.

(April 2nd) This dinosaur toys prove I'm an exceptional aunt, this just cements it.

I let my nephew vacuum my car for me.

I know it looks like he's just doing the work for me, which he is, but, he also wanted to. He literally asked me if he could help. So, I supervised as my nephew cleaned out the filth that is (was) Reptar.

Being an aunt is awesome.

(April 3rd) The end of the weekend is just an example of my materialism.

Behold! The holder of my fortune!

We went to the fossil outlet and I got this badass purple wallet for a badass price. I heart it.

March 30th - 31st, 2011

(March 30th) There's a reason I'm making the weird face.

This is my "I have no intention of giving this shirt back to my husband" face.

I found another shirt that Daniel forgot here. This is his original favorite shirt. I say original because he wore it so much that it's seriously worn out - cracked and torn all over - and I bought him a replacement shirt. However, he still wore both in public, because he couldn't get enough.

Notice how I used the past tense there? Yeah, he wore it. Not anymore, now it's my PJ shirt.

(March 31st) You know you're in Texas when...

When there's a giant gun at the gas station where you're filling up.

I guess the gun is also a grill. I assume the grill cooks things with gun powder. If it doesn't, that's seriously false advertising.