February 3rd, 2011

Beside the fact that it was my awesome sister's (Renee's) birthday, not a whole lot happened today.

So, I thought I would document my new found love affair with caffeine free Dr. Pepper.

I cut way back on my caffeine about three months ago. Now, I have one or less beverages with caffeine per day. I also stopped drinking Diet Coke, pretty much completely.

This is pretty much an amazing feat for me. Up until three months ago, my blood was 46% aspartame. I dreamed of floating down Diet Coke rivers. I invented Diet Coke fountains to replace water fountains (patent still pending). I swam in Diet Coke pools. Well, when I spilled it on myself.

Long story short: I loved Diet Coke. It became a symbiotic relationship I had to end. It was hard, I spent a few nights trying to call Diet Coke. I would ask everyone, "Do you think Diet Coke is thinking about me?"

"I don't care, I'm not missing him,"  I'd quickly say.

I would open the refrigerator door at my last two abandoned diet cokes left and the song "How Do I Live Without You" would begin to play. I would see a condensation tear running down the Diet Coke's aluminum can and would quickly slam the door and run to my bedroom.

It took a good two weeks to completely stop drinking Diet Coke. I switched over to Minute Maid Lemonade, which is delicious, and after awhile I forgot why I was so in love with Diet Coke, why I would dream about it, have panic attacks when I didn't have one. My love affair seemed very strange and ridiculous in hindsight, as many past romances do.

I was happy for awhile, drinking my lemonade merrily all day long, until my love for pop in general came floating back into my brain.

I craved the bubbly sensation running down my throat. I missed the popping sound of the can opening - the plasticky sound a lemonade carton makes upon opening it just isn't the same.

So, I searched for alternatives that were caffeine free. I had a Rootbeer fling, but it left me hollow and unfulfilled. I flirted with regular Coke, but it never got very far. But, one day, I met the new love of my life, right in the soda section of the grocery store: caffeine free Dr. Pepper.

I've always liked Dr. Pepper, now I love it.

I am back to drinking too much pop again , my lemonade has been left neglected in the fridge. But, at least I'm not consuming a boatload of caffeine and aspartame along the way. Although, as you can see, I had to add some aspartame in to try and negate my turning into a cow from drinking too much regular pop.

I wonder how long my relationship with caffeine free Dr. Pepper will last. I don't want to jinx it, but I think this could be the one.


  1. This is NOT Jeff Goldblum, this is GROSS!