November 24th - 28th, 2011

Rollin' on with German life, y'all.

Thanksgiving is basically a preamble to leftovers for my husband.

The only problem is that now Daniel is sick - has a fever and everything. So he hasn't really eaten a whole bunch, so it'll be left to rot 'cause I rarely eat leftovers. However, my scissorwife sent me a leftover turkey recipe, so some of it might get eaten yet.

On the 25th I got a rare surprise.

Daniel brought me home roses as a belated 1st anniversary present. It was a very nice surprise. He gave them to me whilst I was lolling on the couch in old sweats looking super sexy, so it was really romantic.

On the 26th Bootstrap was snuggly and fat.

When he's not biting and scratching me he can sometimes be cute. Sometimes.

On the 27th I had a visit from two beggars.

I was eating cheese and these assholes did this almost the entire time. It's cute, but seriously annoying.

Today I got an awesome package.

My aunt and uncle sent Daniel and I a box of cookies, chocolates, and chocolate pretzels. They are awesome.

Also, I do not plan on sharing the chocolate pretzels.

November 17th - 23rd, 2011

To preface this, I skipped a day. I blame Twilight infused haze. I missed the day the new Twilight came out 'cause I was seeing it in the theater. Think of me what you will.

Anyway, on November 17th my wife and I went to Target.

She was glaring at another customer like that, then she turned her wrath on me, it might've been because I was trying to take her sweet headband.

November 18th was Twilight craziness ie Beatles craziness. Except with more vampires.

On November 19th my friends and I went to Marshall Fields - not Macy's, 'cause Macy's is for devil worshipers - to go see their big tree.

It was an excellent day, certainly one of the best of the trip. We laughed and gossiped and bitched and ate Frango mints, and for good measure we took odd pictures in front of the (shitty) windows that made parents uncomfortable - I could swear I saw a few shooing their children away from the freaks mimicking the puppets. I miss my friends a lot, and I wish we didn't live in Germany.

On the 20th I had my first Thanksgiving of the season.

Two of my sisters were also in town, so we celebrated with turkey and football. I'm not big on football, but drinking wine and hanging out with family I don't get to see often is good for me. Plus, the dinner was delicious.

I took the picture of the day on the plane, and technically it was the sunrise, but I was still on Chicago time, so it counts.

The little sliver is the moon, and you can see the wing of the plane. On every single flight of this trip I was on the wing of the plane, and on the same side - and I took 4 planes this trip. It was odd and coincidental. But, I don't feel like it was a real coincidence, cause I'm a crazy hippy. But I do not know what it means.

On the 22nd I hung up a lone Christmas decoration I bought in Chicago.

A snoopy gel cling! I hung it in the kitchen window because our decorations feel very concentrated. Also - I was very sleep deprived.

Today, Bootstrap demonstrated his new favorite toy.

The sponge. He carries it around in his mouth - like so. He's a freak of the week. Daniel has to hide the sponge in the dishwasher so he doesn't get it. Needless to say that sponge has been cleaned Many times.

November 7th - 16th, 2011

Part one of my Chicago visit is going to be fairly brief and picture filled. And if you sniff this blog enough, you might smell Portillo's cheese fries.

Day one comes to you from a Scandinavian fighter jet. Or a commercial plane - by this time I was so looped on food deprivation/sleep deprivation that it could've been either.

I dislike coke light so much I drank it twice.

Mostly there was nothing else available, and you know how refreshing these tiny shots of pop were? Not really refreshing at all.

The 8th was filled with lots of stuff, but the end result is Christmas decorations:

My mom got me a fewChristmas themed gifts - an early Christmas present so I can enjoy them sooner. I think this one is my faaavorite.

On the 9th my dad and I saw a movie and were basically awesome.

So here we are, being awesome.

On the 10th I became a book thief.

I took my grandma's copy of this Stephanie Plum book. I'll return it...someday.

On the 11th I did an at-home pedicure that turned out not looking like total crap, so here it is.

This picture is not to imply that I didn't get nail polish all over my toes before artfully removing the excess with nail polish remover and a q-tip.

The 12th Colleen got Catholic married!!

Now she is officially church married, so we celebrated like mad fools, yo!

On the 13th, my hair got some much needed care.

I waited nine months between haircuts cause I don't trust the Germans to cut my hair. I only trust Erin, my cousin. Freal.

On the way to pick up my scissor wife on the 14th, I saw this sign.

It was a sign from the scissor god!!

On the 15th I took a picture of a cool Christmas plant I wish I could sneak back to Germany.

It's awesome, dude.

Finally, the 16th I saw Skittle...

She somehow looks completely relaxed and also evil. That's a skill.

November 4th - 6th, 2011

These are my last German pictures for two weeks, as I will be escaping this deutsch wasteland on the morrow. However, none of these pictures have anything to do with Germany, as most of my pictures don't.

On the fourth there was some odd cat placement.

Apparently Bootstrap found that position comfortable. So did Daniel.

On the fifth I decided to gross you (all?) out. Again.

I never thought this blog would have so many pictures of my stomach. Or any pictures of my stomach for that matter. But here I am, displaying one of my flaws for all to see - just so you can behold how nasty my stomach burns are unfolding. Sometimes I think I'm strange.

The burns are gradually getting redder and more dry, like touching lizard skin. Needless to say, I've never felt more attractive.

On the 6th I found a stowaway in my suitcase.

Bootstrap would like to go to America just as much as I do. If only this trip were a PCS trip and I never had to come back here.

I really love Germany, can't you tell?

November 2nd & 3rd, 2011

Reader(s), you must be proud, only two days since my last post, and I didn't even skip a day. However, today's post was expedited due to a harebrained injury. I know, now you're dying to know. But, first, the second.

Bootstrap did this all by himself:

My cat is a special kind of special. And before you call the ASPCA, I swear I took the box off his head, you know, after I got a good laugh and a good picture. The latter was difficult because as soon as Bootstrap got the kleenex box firmly attached to his head he started to run around like, well, like a kitten with his head stuck in a box. Basically he freaked out. It was funny to watch, in a sick and twisted sorta way. And I'm a little sick and twisted.

Now, today: big, bulging, blistering burn day.

I know your first question: "How the Fuck did you do that, you unbelievable ditz?"

Ok, maybe you would've been nicer than that. But, that's how I would've phrased the question.

So, my job right now is basically setting up a hotel, which means a lot of odd jobs. I have put dishes in rooms, vacuumed, ironed shower curtains, assembled vacuums, and (finally) steamed out comforters. The last job is what led to my demise.

Basically the comforters had lines all up on 'em and it became my responsibility to get rid of the lines, and since botox doesn't work on inanimate (fabric) objects, I started steaming them. I didn't know there were such things as steam machines, but there are. Basically it looks like a bucket with a hose and instead of spraying water it sprays steam - hot steam. Who knew steam was hot?

Anyway, I got through the first comforter with relative success, and without damaging myself. But, on the way to the second comforter something went terribly wrong. I was walking from one room to the other with the bucket in one arm, holding the hose nozzle against my stomach (obviously). Now, in order to make the steam, the machine needs to be plugged in, and while walking throughout the hotel the steamer was not plugged in, and since it was not plugged in I assumed it could not make steam, wherein I mad an ass of myself. Perhaps that's why I was careless with pressing the button to make steam. But, regardless of the reason, I knocked the button for about 2 whole seconds, and that was enough to give me a second degree burn.

My first reaction was "Ah what the fuck! How is it on??" My second was "Shit that was hot." My third was "FUCK FUCK FUUUUCK!!!"

It hurts like a mother. And it's also sexy as hell.

October 27th - November 1st, 2011

Another joyous installment. There is one day missing because it was a horrible day, and I'd rather not remember it. Honestly, it hasn't been the best week so far. So, here's your happy go lucky blog entry.

October 27th:

Bootstrap got himself snuggled away into this shoebox, then proceeded to chew on it. I don't understand how he can be so cute and yet so unbelievably annoying all at the same time.

October 28th:

Friday night = Ghost Adventures night. I paused the show for a second, probably to go hunt down a demon in the spare room, and when I came back I had to take a picture of the TV screen 'cause it paused on the best picture ever.

October 29th:

Bootstrap is a fatty. Freal. I'm kinda worried he's gonna be one of those huge cats that can barely move.

Fuck October 30th.

Halloween was celebrated with nothing Halloween like. But, I did make a half-assed attempt for trick-or-treaters.

I bought two whole smallish bags of milkyways - mostly because I knew I would eat them if I didn't get any trick-or-treaters, which I didn't. Not one single kid hoofed it up four flights of stairs to get my candy. Ah well, guess I have to eat it now.

November 1st:

Too soon?